Reunions…bleh

Who here doesn’t think that reunions are stressful? Reuniting with people that you haven’t seen for ten, fifteen, or twenty years…sheesh. Four years ago I went to my high school reunion, and it was funny because in one night I felt like I had lost all of the maturity I had gained in the ten years. Suddenly, I was high school Debbie again. There were moments in the evening when I felt like myself, but for the most part that 17 yr old girl had taken over my body.

Recently, I got a blast from the past phone call from a lady with whom I used to go to Air Cadets. Yes, I went to Air Cadets. For the four years (I think it was four) that I was in Cadets, I had the best time. For the most part, they were the people I hung out and partied with – not the high school people. Great fun, but I haven’t seen any of these people since I was seventeen! Actually, I was friends with one person for quite awhile after, but life happens and we drifted apart. Anyway, the person who called is trying to arrange a reunion. They had a small one last weekend, which I couldn’t attend because of the JFW event, but she’s trying hard to get more of us together. I want to go, but I also don’t. The concept is great. To get a bunch of old friends together, but…

Okay, I’ll spill it – the truth. Enough beating about the bush, because I was going to write about how I think reunions are silly, and how they serve no purpose except getting people together who no longer have anything in common. If I were to be honest, and not try to hide my feelings behind psycho babble then I would say…I’m INSECURE! News flash, I know. I just wrote out My Last Ten Years list, and it’s not filled with world travels and interesting careers. It’s filled with a marriage, kids, school stuff, moms groups, and therapy. Plus, the woman kindly just emailed a photo of the small group that had gotten together. They’re all thin and trendy looking. I’d like to say that they likely don’t have kids, but I can’t! They have kids AND they’re thin! I’m like sixty pounds overweight. I despise feeling like this, but there it is. I don’t want to see them because they’ll all be looking at me and thinking how fat I got. I might end up deleting this post. I’m not trying to host a pity party here. I KNOW that if I put on my best smile, and be myself, they’ll all like me for me…bla bla bla. Everyone changes, bla some more. As an overweight woman, I can’t help noticing people’s eyes when they look at me after they haven’t seen me for awhile.

If she arranges it, I’ll likely go. Unless there just happens to be something that I can’t get out of on that night.

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About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
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16 Responses to Reunions…bleh

  1. Jane says:

    Go – you might have fun – if they weren’t the typical shallow high school types then, then they probably aren’t now!

    My ex DH is a psychotherapist….two of his old clients are pretty famous – a certain soccer star and his thin wife who are just about to head to the US! You see them in all the magazines and on tv all the time…..but I know what they are really like – in fact I know how they really ‘feel’ and that really helped me see that I may not be tall and thin and stunning with an exciting life, but I am so so happy with my life and I have MUCH more than they will ever have! Since then I’ve seen those ‘perfect’ people through very different eyes.

    I also found that when I told people I was homeschooling they looked at me with awe and said how amazing I must be because they could NEVER do that!

    Thin doesn’t always mean happy …..and you are judging them by their size too! Go along and enjoy and forget about everything but sharing memories!

    Oh and your trip to England and the fact you’ve married a Brit would be very interesting to many…Adrians citizenship ceremony…..your wedding too – that looked so much fun…acreage life! Many people dream of that! You have lots of things to talk about!!!

  2. Heather says:

    Debbie if your friends were good friends and not shallow people…I would go, have fun and not worry about it!!! Life is too short!

    I have a friend that is really unhappy with her weight. I have seen her once over the last 2 years and she just doesn’t want to be around people because of it. She’s missing out on a lot and it really makes me sad.

    We all have our insecurities…realizing them and dealing with them is the first step…you seem to be trying to conquer yours…good for you….

    When I go away on business trips with my dh I feel very insecure. Everyone is talking business, even the wives have careers and are involved in their husband’s business. Not me. But most of the people tell me what I am doing is the most important thing in the world. It’s all nice…but I still feel stupid when I don’t have a clue what they are talking about and can’t join in on conversations. I’ve been going to more and more seminars and I have been reading some business stuff so I am kind of in the loop…and what is cool is that I am actually interested in some of it!!!

  3. Heather says:

    OMG Jane said almost the same thing at the begiining of her comment. I REALLY was NOT copying!!!!

  4. Heather says:

    I also agree with Jane on how people look at you with awe for homeschooling. People all the time say, “I could never do that!” They could…they just don’t want to is what I think. Anyone can do anything if they really want to. Really. Most people don’t have a close bonding relationship with their kids…when you are always with your kids homeschooling you really get to know them on a much deeper level. Plus it is pretty impressive to people when they meet your kids and see how smart, cool & polite they are!!!

  5. Debbie says:

    Jane – You’re right of course, Jane. 🙂 I have these moments of being freaked out, and then I manage to come to my sense sooner or later. And you’re right, too, when you say I’m judging THEM. I know I’m being silly, but my brain and heart don’t always match up. 🙂

    And that potato chip thing looks cool. I’ll ask the kids if they’re interested. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Debbie says:

    Heather – I actually don’t know if they’re shallow. I haven’t seen them in (wow!) 16 years. But, you’re right too! Life IS too short. Thanks!

    Good for you for educating yourself! And I’m happy that YOU’RE interested in it, too. It’s good to exercise the brain. That’s what I love about homeschooling as a mom. I feel like I’M learning so much.

    Homeschooling IS cool and productive and something to be proud of – thanks guys!

    Now if only I could get thin…KIDDING! sort of :))

  7. Heather says:

    Debbie, I have another friend who is doing Weight Watchers. She started in August and has lost 30 pounds. She said she pretty much eats what she wants now, just had to make some small changes in her diet. She also walks every day. That’s my goal sometime this week is to do some walking or excersise…maybe that will help me keep from being up at 4am!!!

  8. Jane says:

    Oh Heather you were soooooo copying 😉

    roflmao – I wish you lived nearer 🙂 It would be fun!!!

  9. Sirdar says:

    Go. They want to see the personality that they knew….not the body they remember. If you feel your weight bothers you that much make a joke with them about it and they will just forget it and enjoy your company. Kind of like an ice breaker. You will have a blast I’m sure.

  10. Sara says:

    It’s all been said ^ there :o) I know what you mean though, I’ve felt that way.

  11. Joy T. says:

    Sirdar summed it up and said it absolutely perfectly in my books….They want to see the personality that they knew….not the body they remember. Just excellent Sirdar.

    When I first started reading this I thought it was so cool they thought of you and called and wanted to get the ‘gang’ together. I have a feeling when you go…cause you just HAVE to go right??!…that it won’t take long and you will be laughing and talking about old times and not even focusing on your weight.

    But listen, I definitely understand about the weight issue because I’m no skinny minnie myself. I swear if we lived closer I’d be bugging you to see if you wanted to go for walks or something. And I ‘never’ call people because I hate the phone that much, but you seem like a real sweetheart and obviously those old friends are remembering that about you too.

  12. Steffi says:

    I have the same problems like Debbie.I don´t like reunions and I don´t like my body and at the last ten years I had not a big careers and other things.We moved often because my husband was a sergeant by army.
    I don´t like reunions from my old schoolclass because the most peoples want only tell you there about their careers at their jobs,travel and other exciting things.Many peoples are very enviously and arrogant.The most peoples I never see again since we finished the school.I was only one reunion after our schooltime.So much envy!That was in year 2003 after 20 years…
    In addition still comes the East-West-Germany-Conflict ….but that´s a other theme….

    You can be proud ,Debbie and must not hide you and I can say the same what Jane written in her last part of her comment.Think to Adrian and your wonderful kids and that´s more as other peoples have.And you are not alone…

    SORRY please about my bad english!!I hope you understand nevertheless what I like tell you!

    Bye,Steffi

  13. Jane says:

    Steffi – NEVER apologise for your English…….(sorry Debbie for butting in on your comments lol) but I think people who can speak (and write) in English as a second language are just amazing! Its such a great skill to learn a second language like that! Especially English which is such a complicated language.

  14. Debbie says:

    Please do, Jane. 🙂 I meant to say the same, and have in the past. Steffi, I so admire your ability to communicate in another language. You do it very well. Thanks, as always, for commenting. 🙂

  15. Heather says:

    Jane…I wish I lived closer too…then I’d be close to you and Debbie!!!

    Steffi…your english is great…it is better than some I know! Don’t you worry!

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