(Whew, this started as a quick thank-you and then turned into a long narrative.)
Thanks, everyone, for your wonderfully supportive comments to my last post! And you’re all correct, of course. Especially you, Joy. I AM a sweetheart! 😉
I’ve obviously got to get over my own judgments. Unfortunately, I do notice when someone else has gained weight. It’s not to think less of them – I’m just relieved that I’m not the only one! Now, how shallow is that? I’ll go one further. When making acquaintances with other ladies, I don’t usually gravitate to the thin pretty ones. Eeek. I don’t need a bunch of comments on that one! I know how sick it is.
I’ve been working hard on myself over the last ten years. I’ve made some big changes, but still have hurdles to tackle. One day I will be that person who does not care what people think of them and who radiates an energy of self confidence. I’ve been around people like that, and they’re great company because I don’t have to spend my time trying to fill THEM up. We can just have a great conversation. I am like that, too, sometimes. It’s funny because I can feel the change come over me in different situations. When I’m comfortable, I feel most like myself. Relaxed, articulate, intelligent, and even funny. When I’m uncomfortable, however, I’m tense, but the biggest difference is that I’m quiet. Many people have told me that their first impression of me is that I’m a snob. This is hilarious because it’s the total opposite of what I’m feeling. When I want to get over my nerves when being introduced to someone new, I force myself to: smile, make eye contact, and say my friendliest “Nice to meet you!”. Things usually go smoothly from there.
Have any of you read The Celestine Prophesy? My friend, G, gave it to me to read many years ago. It’s what introduced to me this idea of energy. Some people fill themselves up with energy. Others take it from other people. The following are quotes from the companion book, “The Celestine Prophesy: An Experiential Guide”.
“The Fourth insight tells us that humans compete for energy with each other. We do this unconsciously in every encounter. By observing, our own and other’s interactions, we can become conscious of this competition and begin to understand the underlying nature of human conflict. As we become more aware we will also come to realize that energy gained in this way doesn’t last very long. Further awareness brings us to the realization that the true energy we seek comes from a universal source. We don’t need to secure it from another person.”
“When certain patterns are used repetitively, they become like games between people. The variation for bids for attention is almost endless…Even without an in-depth analysis of the rules of these games, their names aptly describe situations that we have all encountered with our families, friends, and coworkers.”
The Poor Me
These books might be “out there” for some because it talks about the universe being “pure energy”. Similar in philosophy to the movie, “What the Bleep Do We Know?”, introduced to me by my friend, L. I love this way of thinking because it’s like a bell ringing to me. This is right.
I find, though, that when I neglect the lessons I’ve learned I quickly forget them. Strange, heh? It takes a friend, book, movie, or something similar to remind me. “Oh yeah! I’m playing the poor me. Darn it, I thought that I was over that stuff. Sigh. Guess not.”