Remembering the Lesson

(Whew, this started as a quick thank-you and then turned into a long narrative.)

Thanks, everyone, for your wonderfully supportive comments to my last post! And you’re all correct, of course. Especially you, Joy. I AM a sweetheart! 😉

I’ve obviously got to get over my own judgments. Unfortunately, I do notice when someone else has gained weight. It’s not to think less of them – I’m just relieved that I’m not the only one! Now, how shallow is that? I’ll go one further. When making acquaintances with other ladies, I don’t usually gravitate to the thin pretty ones. Eeek. I don’t need a bunch of comments on that one! I know how sick it is.

I’ve been working hard on myself over the last ten years. I’ve made some big changes, but still have hurdles to tackle. One day I will be that person who does not care what people think of them and who radiates an energy of self confidence. I’ve been around people like that, and they’re great company because I don’t have to spend my time trying to fill THEM up. We can just have a great conversation. I am like that, too, sometimes. It’s funny because I can feel the change come over me in different situations. When I’m comfortable, I feel most like myself. Relaxed, articulate, intelligent, and even funny. When I’m uncomfortable, however, I’m tense, but the biggest difference is that I’m quiet. Many people have told me that their first impression of me is that I’m a snob. This is hilarious because it’s the total opposite of what I’m feeling. When I want to get over my nerves when being introduced to someone new, I force myself to: smile, make eye contact, and say my friendliest “Nice to meet you!”. Things usually go smoothly from there.

Have any of you read The Celestine Prophesy? My friend, G, gave it to me to read many years ago. It’s what introduced to me this idea of energy. Some people fill themselves up with energy. Others take it from other people. The following are quotes from the companion book, “The Celestine Prophesy: An Experiential Guide”.

“The Fourth insight tells us that humans compete for energy with each other. We do this unconsciously in every encounter. By observing, our own and other’s interactions, we can become conscious of this competition and begin to understand the underlying nature of human conflict. As we become more aware we will also come to realize that energy gained in this way doesn’t last very long. Further awareness brings us to the realization that the true energy we seek comes from a universal source. We don’t need to secure it from another person.”

And:

“When certain patterns are used repetitively, they become like games between people. The variation for bids for attention is almost endless…Even without an in-depth analysis of the rules of these games, their names aptly describe situations that we have all encountered with our families, friends, and coworkers.”

The Intimidator
The Interrogator
The Aloof
The Poor Me

These books might be “out there” for some because it talks about the universe being “pure energy”. Similar in philosophy to the movie, “What the Bleep Do We Know?”, introduced to me by my friend, L. I love this way of thinking because it’s like a bell ringing to me. This is right.

I find, though, that when I neglect the lessons I’ve learned I quickly forget them. Strange, heh? It takes a friend, book, movie, or something similar to remind me. “Oh yeah! I’m playing the poor me. Darn it, I thought that I was over that stuff. Sigh. Guess not.”

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About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
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8 Responses to Remembering the Lesson

  1. Jane says:

    The book sounds like something I’d enjoy reading – thanks! I had to end a friendship last year because the person (a poor me!) was so toxic in my life….and yet I found myself going back again and again and getting hurt each time and feeling all my energy and happiness sucked out of me…..Lloyd wouldn kind of shake his head and ask me why I did that to myself…….but it can be very difficult to end friendships like that because sometimes you don’t actually see what is happening.

    What helped me was the book ‘The Four Agreements’ and talking with Audrey (do you know Audrey from the homeschool group?) That book seems to come into peoples lives when its needed…its very strange….and I REALLY needed it….it was a real lightbulb moment. Audrey is one of those uplifting people and very calm to be around….kind of like Christie! Although Christie is just THE easiest person to be with…..

    In some ways I still miss that friend because sometimes we had a blast together…but the toxicity of the relationship just couldn’t go on 😦 I was left feeling very used and tired 😦

    Oh and now you have me worried Debbie…if we meet up and you are quiet I will think you are uncomfortable 😉

  2. Debbie says:

    I had to let go of a friendship once because it was toxic. It is a difficult thing to do, but it was the right thing.

    If I’m quiet, which I’ll make sure I’m not, it’s MY issue…not yours. 🙂

  3. Joy T. says:

    I only know you through your blog, but I never once considered you a ‘poor me’ kind of person. Someone trying to find themselves, yes, but poor me…I don’t see it. And I can usually spot a pity party a mile away :o)

    I was given the Celestine Prophesy quite a few years ago and loved it. I kind of wish I hadn’t passed it on to a friend because some days I’d like to go back to it and take a skim through it again. A super book and like you say, a bit out there, but…aren’t we all some days LOL

    I tell ya, if you’re still blogging in 10 years, I’m going to be tickled pink to see where you are then. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so passionate about wanting to better themselves. It’s so great to see Debbie!

  4. Sirdar says:

    Self confidence takes time to develop but once you develop it you will feel so….I don’t know…happier about yourself? Not really knowing you from before I can’t comment on how you have grown, but I am sure you have because even you have noticed it.

    I’ve worked hard to be a more confident person. I still struggle sometimes but for the most part I am way more confident in my abilities than I was even 5 years ago. In 5 years I’ll probably say the same. I know I have grown considerably since I came back home from working away all the time. I feel part of the family again and my career is going extremely well mostly because of being more confident in myself and my abilities. I was one who never did things right and was never good enough. That might have something to do with my childhood but that is a discussion face to face one day. OK…enough about me 🙂

    Do you notice that I am the only guy commenting on your blog? You’ve gained so many new blog friends and they all sound so supportive.

  5. Steffi says:

    Debbie,you and me have so much same things together.Sometimes is it better to finished a friendship when it was toxic.It´s difficult bad better.I had also bad experiences with wrong friends.

    My self confidence is sometimes not very good especially at my work.That´s why some collegues know this to use.Many peoples sayed already often to me that I am be to good for this world.
    I think you too.
    It´s good that you have your blog so I can write my thougths about diffrent things.
    Yes,it will be very interesting what we writing in 10 years in our blogs!I think I will be the same person like now….and in 4 weeks I will be 40 years(!)old and that´s a stupid age…. ;O)

    Have a nice day !
    Steffi

  6. Debbie says:

    Thanks, Joy! I really don’t want to come across as a whiner.

    Sirdar – You seem calmly confident. I’ve got childhood shtuff, too.

    I like having a guy’s take on things. One of my closest friends is a guy. He’s the anonymous SC that comments OCCASIONALLY.

    And yes, I have wonderful friends. Thank-you All!! I soooo appreciate you. 🙂

    Steffi – My heart is warm knowing that you can open up here.

    40 years old. Have you got anything special planned?

  7. Steffi says:

    Thank you Debbie.I´m glad to found your blog….

    Greetings,Steffi

  8. Anonymous says:

    Hay,i don’t alway have to leave a comment on or about your blog,do to the wonderfull reason that i can call you up a talk to you for hours at a time,about anything and everything.

    sc

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