My daughter said something to me the other day that got me feeling really sad…
I was bent over her, helping her on with her shoes, when she reached out and stuck her fingers in my arm pit to tickle me. We were in kind of a hurry, and I said, “Not now, sweety”. Her response stopped me in my tracks.
“Why don’t you ever laugh, mommy?”
“What? I laugh.”
“You don’t think I laugh?”
“Not very much.”
Now I thought I did laugh a lot. You know those survey things that go around? One of the questions are usually: When is the last time you laughed?. I always answer: Today. Could it be that I just laugh inside my head?
When I think about my day with the children, I think of games, books, playing, crafts, etc. Fun stuff right? For them. They laugh a lot. It’s one of my favourite things to listen to, in fact – my children laughing. But perhaps I’m not involving myself in the fun enough.
This was a difficult post to write – to admit. Many of you write about all of the fun and laughter going on in your homes. It happens here, too, but to be totally honest and frank – I’m usually watching it go on. Not always. But a lot of the time. I want to be that fun loving mom who is also totally organized. Along the way, I must have gotten too focused on trying to get organized and creating a stimulating environment. I knew that I took myself seriously, but I didn’t realize how transparent that was to everyone…especially my children.
After my daughter’s shoes were on, we got up and carried on with our day, but the conversation stuck with me. It was one of those “slap in the face” kind of moments. Huh?! I thought that I DID laugh a lot, but I now know that she was right. I am not laughing enough. I’ve gotta loosen up, but I’m learning that it ain’t so easy!
What the heck happened to me? I know I laughed plenty as a child. I think I did as a teenager. Before we had kids, Adrian and I laughed a lot. Hmmm. Well, I’m on a mission, people, to find my laugh. Somewhere in the last decade, it has run off with the circus because you know if you don’t use your laugh enough it gets bored and goes searching for fun somewhere else.