A Lesson Taught to Me by My Daughter

My daughter said something to me the other day that got me feeling really sad…

I was bent over her, helping her on with her shoes, when she reached out and stuck her fingers in my arm pit to tickle me. We were in kind of a hurry, and I said, “Not now, sweety”. Her response stopped me in my tracks.

“Why don’t you ever laugh, mommy?”
“What? I laugh.”
“Not really.”
I paused.
“You don’t think I laugh?”
“Not very much.”

Now I thought I did laugh a lot. You know those survey things that go around? One of the questions are usually: When is the last time you laughed?. I always answer: Today. Could it be that I just laugh inside my head?

When I think about my day with the children, I think of games, books, playing, crafts, etc. Fun stuff right? For them. They laugh a lot. It’s one of my favourite things to listen to, in fact – my children laughing. But perhaps I’m not involving myself in the fun enough.

This was a difficult post to write – to admit. Many of you write about all of the fun and laughter going on in your homes. It happens here, too, but to be totally honest and frank – I’m usually watching it go on. Not always. But a lot of the time. I want to be that fun loving mom who is also totally organized. Along the way, I must have gotten too focused on trying to get organized and creating a stimulating environment. I knew that I took myself seriously, but I didn’t realize how transparent that was to everyone…especially my children.

After my daughter’s shoes were on, we got up and carried on with our day, but the conversation stuck with me. It was one of those “slap in the face” kind of moments. Huh?! I thought that I DID laugh a lot, but I now know that she was right. I am not laughing enough. I’ve gotta loosen up, but I’m learning that it ain’t so easy!

What the heck happened to me? I know I laughed plenty as a child. I think I did as a teenager. Before we had kids, Adrian and I laughed a lot. Hmmm. Well, I’m on a mission, people, to find my laugh. Somewhere in the last decade, it has run off with the circus because you know if you don’t use your laugh enough it gets bored and goes searching for fun somewhere else.

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About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
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9 Responses to A Lesson Taught to Me by My Daughter

  1. Heather says:

    Debbie I can relate so often to your posts!!! I could have easily written that…at my home there is always something very amusing going on it seems like and kids laughter is constant. I feel content and fairly happy but I never feel like I get all giddy and laugh out loud…it could easily be because of the constant tape going on in my head of what I need to do…what needs to get done…where we need to go…etc…etc…I have discovered watching a good comedy really helps and there is something about laughing that releases endorphins to make you feel good and the stress melt away. Even when you don’t think you have stress going on if you are regularily laughing it is there. Like I said I before I can SO relate…don’t be sad though…take this moment to grow from it…isn’t it amazing how our kids can push us to grow too????

  2. Heather says:

    oops I meant to say if you are not regularily laughing…I need to proofread better before I post!

  3. PortraitofPeter says:

    Children are rather astute (in the nicest possible sense of the word -I hasten to add), when it comes to observation.

    You have taken the comment to heart. Just to let you know that your profile photo shows a “joyful” smiling mum with her two children.

    Quite understandable your thoughts are on so many things (mums the world over) including deciding on creativities for your children – which they obviously love.

    Perhaps you daughter picked up on her mommy looking “thought provoking” and decided to make her mommy laugh with a tickle!!

    Trust me your laughter is there – where you have hidden it – only a “mommy” will know – us male’s can never find anything remember!!

    You write delightful postings with loving photo’s – that shows how much you are thought of here on the “blogging” scene.

    If you can whistle try this song “Always look on the bright side of life” – it works for me every time – problem is I can’t whistle!!

    Go for it – just laugh when the postie brings the phone bill, gas bill,

    Blessings from a late “sun” arrival at 4pm – today!!

  4. Joy T. says:

    Tough one to even comment on, but what an incredible post Debbie. Thank goodness for little tickles and what comes from them.

    Here’s to more laughter in people’s lives!!

  5. Jane says:

    Debbie…..I will say that I have noticed from your posts that everything you do (or at least everything you blog about) seems to revolve around your children……what do you do for you? Like REALLY do for you? Being a selfless Mother and devoting yourself to your children isn’t very healthy IMO…….trust me…one day you will blink and your children will be all grown up and gone….and then there is you……what to do then?

    Maybe if you were a little more selfish with your time and did more ‘fun’ stuff for you, then that fun and laughter would spread to your entire life……

    Why not do something crazy…book slasa lessons for you and Adrian…take a circus class……join Curves…..(yep exercising witha group of women can be funny!), amateur dramatics, learn to paint with some other Moms once a week while the kids play…..d self portraits with the kids…each sit with a mirror and paint yourselves – you TOO!!! Thats hilarious 🙂 Take a belly dancing class (there are lots of them around…….

    Drive over to Beaumont (or just the other side) every Thursday and join us Moms for breakfast….the kids come with us but trust me this is about US not the kids lol and we spend the whole time laughing……

    Sign up to be a model for an art class…….they do NOT want perfect bodies..they want REAL bodies…..

    I just think maybe it would do you so much good to do more for you generally in your life…not for Adrian…not for your children……for YOU….not you the Mom..the Wife…the Daughter…but YOU for Debbie!!! I just get the impression sometimes that ‘Debbie’ has disappeared amidst the homeschooling and being a wife……

    I think that can easily happen…not just to you but to many Moms…especially homeschooling Moms……….

    It sounds like your Daughter especially needs to see you being a little more selfish…….make it more about you…because when your Daughter is an adult won’t you want her to do more for herself in that way? To stay true to herself and not lsoe herself and her spirit along with it? So if you ever feel guilty for doing more for you…just remind yourself that you are a role model for her and that you WANT her to know that Moms are people too who NEED to take time for themselves and their interests and to keep laughing!

  6. Heather says:

    Hey Debbie…I just wanted to pop in here tonight and say I hope you had a good day today…and you better have done some laughing!!!!

    I agree with what Jane had to say…I think it is very important for us moms to be a little selfish.

  7. Sirdar says:

    I sometimes wonder if I am too serious to let go. I laugh…but not as much as I want or need to. Life isn’t a bowl of cherries right now…..hard to laugh sometimes. But I try.

    Jane is right. Too much mommy stuff. You need some Debbie stuff to balance it out. Ya know, if you and Adrian want to get out for an evening you have people in your near vicinity that could look after a couple of kids while you are gone 🙂

  8. my4kids says:

    My kids do that also. They notice things about me that I don’t. It kind of brings me back to trying to be a better mommy though

  9. PortraitofPeter says:

    Looking forward to a new “posting”.

    Hope my comments were okay?

    Blessings to all.

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