Fun Monday

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Robinella from Robin’s Nest was responsible for this week’s assignment:

“In honor of exhaustion, color and self-love, I present you with this week’s assignment. I want you to dig through your blog files and show us your best effort. Why you consider it your best is up to you. C’mon, you know you have a favorite – show it to me one more time”.

I actually had difficulty with this one! I spent the last half hour (yes I left it to the last minute) scrolling through my archives. What constitutes as my best effort? Is it the one that had the most comments? At first that’s the criteria I was using during my search, but then that goes back to my people-pleasing roots…and I’m not doing that anymore! 😉

Most often my favourite posts are the ones where I get “introspective” as I call it. I’m a mushy and self analyzing person at heart. They aren’t funny posts, but they’re the most authentic representation of me. I chose THIS one because I love the subject. It’s about women and how we need to be kinder to ourselves and, ultimately, to each other.

Stop the Put Downs – Originally posted on Tues. Mar.13/07

Do women know how terrible it sounds when they put themselves down constantly? I didn’t. In my early twenties I was notorious for the put downs to myself. Usually it was about my weight. What’s ridiculous is that I wasn’t overweight!! So what did I get out of it? Reassurance from people and friends. When I complained that I was overweight they always responded with, “No, you’re not!”. And then I’d feel better. For a minute! As I got older, I joked that I knew I was getting fat for real when people stopped responding with that line – looking back they were probably just sick and tired of my belly aching.

I remember when I was around fifteen, I was with my friends talking to a boy. There was a dance that night and my friends and I were talking about what we were going to wear. I laid out my usual line, “I don’t know what to wear. I’m soo faaat.” (you might as well imagine a whiny tone, too) The boy replied, “Yah, ya could lose about ten pounds. Then you’d be hot”. I was shocked into silence. Then I spent the next hour soliciting reassurances from my friends. “Do YOU think I could lose ten pounds? What a jerk, heh?”

My put downs have decreased over the years. My first eye opener was The Celestine Prophesy. When I first read the book, I identified with the Poor Me role trying to steal energy in the form of complements. That’s me! I thought. I had never looked at it that way before, but, unfortunately becoming aware of something doesn’t just make it go away. I still have some work to do.

These days my self admonishments are about my abilities as a mom and homeschooler. I have one friend, in particular, who calls me on it. Hi, G! In the middle of a conversation she’ll just stop me and say, I think you’re being a little hard yourself there.

What I realized after I read that book is that it’s exhausting to be around someone who hurls insults at themselves. As the listener, you’re put into an awkward position and at the very least it’s boring.

I got on this train of thought when I was watched a show on the making of a theatre production and group called “Women Fully Clothed“. It’s made up of five women comedians. This real “reality” show revealed how the group was formed, how they developed and tweaked the script together, and the little nuances of their relationships. It was so interesting and the theatrical production looks funny. During the different conversations there was one lady (Jayne Eastwood) who was constantly putting herself down. Because she’s a comedian she did it in the form of jokes. It was funny at first, but by the 10th time, it was like – enough already! Watching and listening to her it was so obvious how crappy she felt about herself. Or that’s what was portrayed. If she actually feels great about herself then she should quit it with the put-down jokes. Even in this group photo she’s basically hiding herself. I truly hope that by the time I’m her age I’m fully over this insecurity bull shit.

Now this is my time to deviate from the assignment, as I usually do on Fun Monday!  I wanted to choose a video. Originally posted on Wednesday, October 11th/07.  It’s become a classic and I get teary eyed every time I see it:

And I couldn’t close without two of my favourite photos:


Originally posted on Tues.May8/07.  I was so stupid brave here! Back-in-the-day.

Quad 080 0

Originally posted on Sat., Oct.14/07.  I still giggle when I look at this pic. 😀

Thanks, Robin! This was fun.

Please go HERE to read more Fun Mondays.


About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
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21 Responses to Fun Monday

  1. philosophyoflife says:

    Always delighted of your humour 😆

    And seeing that photo again of your expression – has me in tears of laughter 😆

    I think Adrian was amazing to capture the moment so quickly…. Had it been me, I would have missed because of my laughter 😆

    Lovely post – to start the week 😛

  2. chrisb says:

    That post is very thought provoking!

  3. Janet T. says:

    I loved that post! GLad you re-posted it because I have never read it. I have had to force myself to NOT put myself down too. Every time I catch myself doing it, I try to counter it.


    And I LOVE that last picture. It’s toooo funny. I can just picture the scene!

  4. Sandy says:

    I love your post. One of the most important things my mother ever taught me (and it only took me about 45 years to learn) was that when someone gives you a compliment, just say “thank you”. Sounds so easy.

    And I love that last picture!

  5. Karmyn R says:

    Yes, I think most women are hard on themselves.

    I LOVE the free hugs video. It makes me cry (especially now with pregnancy hormones running through my body)

  6. Dawn says:

    A great post. I didn’t see it when you first put it up, and I am not sure how I missed the video. Great photo at the end.

    I can be self-effacing at times, but I must keep in mind it is not for me to put myself down, I have old Scotty their to do that for me. I tend to be the one to do it as a joke, but it could get old as well. Someone told me the best thing her mom taught her is “not everyone can like you”. It is an aspiration women strive for, but it is not reality. It was the most important thing that acquaintance told me and has stuck with me for a lot of years. It is something I have repeated to my children, as well as what Sandy says above.

    Awesome post, thanks for sharing it again.

  7. Lisa's Chaos says:

    I too expect too much of myself and try to lighten up and loosen up on myself, but. . . While most men aren’t that way my husband is pretty hard on himself too.

  8. Tiggerlane says:

    I just recognize that my daughter has started this “I’m fat” phase – and if you look at her? TOTAL skinnie-minnie – total. I need to put a stop to that.

    And secondly – I have a copy of that book, and have NEVER READ IT. That is going to be the first thing I do when I get home – find that book.

    Third – I love ‘free hugs,’ always makes me cry. Thanks for sharing!

  9. giveitatry says:

    Great post, fantastic photos!

    I just saw some girls walking around with “free hugs” signs the other day.

  10. It’s amazing how women deal with insecurity. There are so many defense mechanisms available, and we’ve all tried so many on. I hope we all grow into the skin we’re given.

  11. Sirdar says:

    Great post. People tend to put themselves down more than other people put them down. I do it internally…usually. I used to do it at work but now I don’t because I finally feel like I belong…like I am part of the team. Took a while for that to happen.

    Love the song and video and remember the quadding picture. Still funny!!

  12. Great! Love the last picture~

  13. Joy T. says:

    I remember reading all of these on your blog and loved reading and seeing the pictures again. Especially that last one! As for the post, it’s a great post. I stopped putting myself down years ago. Again, with age comes wisdom. You really do learn that not everyone will like you and that it’s ok if they don’t ‘get’ you. Because chances are they aren’t your cup of tea, or you may not get them either. Doesn’t mean you’re horrible people. You also learn there are probably 5 people to make up for that 1 person who happen to think you’re pretty ok and LOVE to be around you. Those are the people I choose to hang with as I get older 🙂

  14. robinellablog says:

    I’m glad you had fun and thank you for posting! It was great seeing you in those last two photos. Sky diving…AMAZING.

    What a great post. It’s so true. So glad I’m older now and can appreciate me for who I am. I still joke, but I mean it as a joke. As Joy said, the 5 who love me, know it.

  15. Steffi says:

    Great post Debbie and I love your two pictures!

  16. philosophyoflife says:

    😯 “I can be self-effacing at times, but I must keep in mind it is not for me to put myself down, I have old Scotty their to do that for me. ”

    Tut tut Dawn, but how true – what would I be – if I were not here to ensure your 👿 intents had not been monitored – as poor Eloise can testify – and the sugar bowl 😯 and the Birthday Cake 😯 – to name just a few 😆

  17. philosophyoflife says:

    If you notice – I always pop over to read before popping off to sleep on the 👿 eye blog…

    You have an Award waiting for you 😛

  18. Carla says:

    What a fabulous post! I love this one. We need to be reminded to check our self-talk on a regular basis and make sure that we are kind to ourselves. I’m going to check out that book that you mentioned. It’s not one that I’ve heard of. Thanks.

  19. Pamela says:

    This is a real “thinking” post. We are all guilty of this.
    Maybe not all do it for the same reasons.

  20. my4kids says:

    I remember this post. I thought it was a good one also. Love the pics

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