Breathe

I’ve lost my nice gentle mom voice.  At least during homeschooling time.  Actually, I don’t know if I ever really had one!  I could never understand how some people can remain so calm during times of frustration.  They say they get mad but they’re voices remain smooth like butter.  Do they use Meditation?  Mind over matter?  Drugs????

Whatever it is I need to get me some because I’m losing it more and more quickly at my kids.  Like today…

J and I were reading a math problem.  It goes sorta like this: “Elena had 17 cookies.  Jasper had 25 more cookies than Elena had.  How many cookies did Jasper have?”  I look at J and she has this blank look on her face.  By the way, we’ve done a tonne of these kinds of problems in the past.  So, I ask her, “Are we going to add or subtract, J?”  “I dunno”, she answers.  Sigh.  So, I proceed to explain and draw out an example, and she’s laying her head down on the table and playing with the buttons on her sweater.  “Do you understand?” I ask.  She shrugs her shoulders in response and continues to examine a loose thread on her shirt.  Grrrr! 

R wasn’t any better today either.  He solves the math problem but it’s like I’m inflicting some kind of torture device on him when I inform him that he still needs to write the answer in sentence form.  He could have had THREE sentences written during all of that time of carrying on!!!!

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Some days I do think they’d be better off at school.  At least they wouldn’t be yelled at.  Hmmm.  Or would they?  Is it better to be yelled at by a teacher or by your mom?  Maybe they shouldn’t be yelled at at all!  How’s that for a revelation, Debbie??? 

So, that brings me back to my original question:  How does a person (me) remain calm during times of frustration?

Breeeeeathe.  And think happy thoughts.  And realize that in the big scheme of things this is really not a big deal.

Let’s see if it works…

PS To end on a positive note, J’s reading has improved IMMENSELY.  And she loves to read, too.  She struggled with it so much until the last few months.  It’s a big relief to see the improvement mostly having to do with her actual joy of the activity.  😀 She adores spending time at the library.  I hope this in the beginning of a life long love of reading.

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About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
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13 Responses to Breathe

  1. Carla says:

    Breathe…count to ten…walk away if you have to and then come back. Teaching is tough. I’m sure you’re doing a great job.

  2. robinellablog says:

    I’m getting ready to research all of our private schools if that gives you any indication that you are not alone in this. And I mean it this time.

    I think I prefer the teacher to yell than me. Let me be the good guy for once.

  3. Heather says:

    I have been having thoughts of school in the Fall myself. It’s January/February-cold weather-bored/whiney/bickering/complaing kids/ & tired of dealing with homeschooling time of the year. It’s always when we have our slump.

    Yesterday I kind of lost it with my kids. They made forts which was great but they made them with these foam cushions and got foam chunks all over the place. Then they decided to feed the birds but didn’t put bird seed in the bird feeder. Instead they sprinkled it all over our steps and right smack in front of the door. Sure we are seeing all sorts of birds now but bird seed is all over in my house because the dogs and kids keep tracking it in. Besides that they were bickering most of the day. Just driving to town Haley was kicking the back of Hunter’s seat saying.”thump! thump! kick! kick!” trying to get him going…which she did…They are just being snots to each other and driving each other nuts.

    I think it is important not to yell too much. But yelling very occasionaly is just being human Debbie.

    Usually on days things aren’t working and stress is going on…we just skip school. Kids play video games, play outside, watch movies. There’s peace & harmony then and all is well.

    It’s okay to take 1/2 a day off, a whole day or even a week if you need it. Today we are taking off because yesterday was too much on all of us. Everyone seems happier today. Including ME.

    Maybe it’s time for a field trip???? Too bad we weren’t closer and could do a mom’s night out!! I could sure use one!!!!

  4. Sirdar says:

    I think there are times when it won’t bother you as much. I can certainly understand your frustration and I am sure Dawn can really relate. I don’t know how you or she does it. I don’t have the patience to do that. I can and I have had the patience, but at work I’ve had to learn to be patient and try not to throttle the person who refuses to just READ the manual!! 😆

  5. Janet T. says:

    AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Can I just say that I had the same day as you? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    ‘Nuff said.

  6. Dawn says:

    I don’t know what any of you are talking about.

    Craaaaaaaack….

    Just struck by lightening, and my charred fingers are typing away.

    I think it is the time of year. Everyone is cranky and is seems hard to concentrate. This too shall pass. I have gone through it pretty much every year. My kids are still alive, some by a thread.

    When faced with the situation, I often put my kids to hard labour. If they can’t get along, they will work together or apart, depending on the situation, the child(ren) involved. T I will set to work a physical job (one time it was carrying bricks to a different location). That same time, I had the girls sort boxes tomatoes, removing the top, together so they would be forced to sit and talk with each other. I had happy kids for 2 days because they had the energy expelled. I have had my kids (in warmer weather) run around the block or take the dogs for a walk. Organize a cupboard. Sometimes they can do a good job and if it isn’t great, in a few weeks you can move it the way you like it. In the mean time, you have some organizing done and some kids who feel they have contributed to something bigger than a math problem. And sometimes, just sometimes, there can be a math problem in there. I have also read to them more while they did something like that, and one time, I was painting a bedroom, and they had a turn and each took a turn doing oral reading from their level of book. It was one of the good mom moments I had.

    Keep a stiff upper; this too shall pass.

  7. Melanie says:

    Hugs Debbie, you are human. Back away from the horrible child go run yourself a glass of water or something before you get to the screaming stage. If you have a favourite smell why not get a special soap in it just to reward yourself with a whiff of it and remind yourself that you are doing a hard job.

    Teachers aren’t teaching their own children and they don’t have to live with them every day. What you are doing is far harder.

    If maths isn’t working one way and you absolutely need to cover the topic why not make it fun by acting out the puzzle with dolls and tom thumb drop sweets?

    Well done on losing a pound. You can do it!

  8. Pamela says:

    I can’t imagine anything tougher than teaching your children — especially when it appears she may be just pulling your chain.

  9. my4kids says:

    I guess in some way it helps to hear that you and Dawn and the others who homeschool have the same situations. I have those days and seem to convince myself I am the only home schooling mom who can’t get her kids to just pay attention. Very frustrating.
    I usually walk away from it for a moment if I am getting frustrated or have them start something else. I guess whatever works right?

  10. beccy says:

    I know how you feel but sometimes those deep breaths are hard to get out when you’re busy shouting!

  11. Joy T. says:

    Oh man, I am laughing at beccy’s comment LOL I hope things get a bit better. It has to warm up sooner or later and soon you will be dragging that wonderful big pool of yours out and basking in the glorious warm sun. Too much? Hang in there :o)

  12. G says:

    Hey Debbie
    Hope it’s cool that I am commenting eventhough I am not a homeschooler. I loved Heather’s comment of just taking some time off. Suggestion of ‘maybe we’ll take the pm off if you can get this one, ok?’.
    I know, I know, you might not be able to do it for long periods but just for today….
    What you are doing IS tough and I sincerely befuddled at how you manage to get anything through as it isn’t easy to teach your own kids.
    My girl wouldn’t take a shower until it was suggested by the hairdresser how important it was to get all of that soap out of her hair. That night, into the shower she went.
    Take care and ‘atta girl’ on the pound gone forever!
    G

  13. Steffi says:

    I agree with Beccy´s comment too!You are a good teacher for your kids!But I know such days too which you had .

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