“…you like me, right now, you like me!

This is not – I repeat, NOT – a pitiful poor me post. 

I don’t know how to write what I’m thinking.  Or even know what I’m thinking.  If this were my journal I’d just write and write until I figured it out.  So here goes. 

I still get amazed when someone tells me they’re happy to have me as a friend.  It’s like, really?  Me?  In the moment the person tells me, I feel flattered.  And happy, too.  Later, I feel that amazement.  And gratitude.   

Someone just told me recently:  “I’m so grateful that I’ve gotten to know you.” That’s special – you know?  I don’t take the compliment lightly.   As pitiful as it may sound, I can totally relate to what Sally Field said when getting that Oscar in 1985: “…I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!“. 

That quote is the butt of many jokes, but I’ll bet most of us who’d have the opportunity to stand on a stage while your peers cheer for you and your achievements feel those words.  They’d just be too chicken to say them.

(It’s interesting to me that she said, “right now” because she knows that fame is fickle.  They liked her at that moment, but then tore her apart for actually saying it.)

Why not revel in it?  “Whoo hooo, I’m loved!!”.  Well, I guess because it sounds conceited.  But that’s not the way I feel.  I just simply feel happy and filled. 

Yeah, I s’pose it could be explained that I didn’t get enough validation or something as a kid.  Maybe that’s it.  And I know the psychological mumbo jumbo.  I have to give myself the validation so that I don’t need it from others.  Yeah yeah.  I’m working on it.  But in the mean time, it’s nice to get it from people who are nice enough to say the words out loud.

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About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
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13 Responses to “…you like me, right now, you like me!

  1. aims says:

    Meeting you certainly made me feel like we have a lot in common. And I loved your laugh and just have overall happy you are.

    I thought that you brought tons to the table and didn’t hold back.

    I don’t know you very well at all – but I do wish I knew you better….

    Now – how about that blogger’s retreat??

  2. aims says:

    And just ‘how’ overall happy you are…oh duh…

    And one more thing Debbie…I remember feeling like that when I was your age. Remember we talked about coming into ourselves at different ages? I think that is part of it. That finally getting to be happy with ourselves.

    I’m finally there..but I had to go through hell to get there..and – I had to just plain get older.

    But – I also totally get being overwhelmed when people feel you add something to their lives. It’s so humbling in a way – and the epitome of flattery.

    I’m saying – revel in it girl – get down and roll around in it and then jump up and scream Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

  3. Emma says:

    Well I for one was thrilled to finally meet you and am honoured to have you for a friend.

  4. robinellablog says:

    I think it’s just nice to appreciated once in awhile. Enjoy it! I’m sure you deserve it.

  5. Dawn says:

    I agree with Aims, it doesn’t matter how much you come into yourself or like being with you or any of that mumbo jumbo, the reality is, people need to feel needed and appreciated by others. It is the way we were made, it is what drives people to not live selfishly in their own little world. It is the grease that keeps the charity wheel moving, the helping of friend and neighbour; even those who give anonymously, because even though the other person doesn’t say thank you or state appreciation to your face, the person giving, knows he or she made a difference. I think that is the most difficult part of growing old; there comes a point where the person no longer feels useful in this world. Some of that is from within, some from people no longer asking or accepting help from them and the older person needing more help.

    It is humbling and it definitely feels great when others affirm our worth, even if we know it in ourselves.

  6. giveitatry says:

    I’m starting to think we have more in common than just our voices. 🙂

  7. poetofmind says:

    To put into words of how one is valued – is an expression from the heart…

    The journey through friendship allows an understanding of one’s own status.

  8. Debbie says:

    Aims – I’m looking forward to “that” age whenever it is. 🙂 Actually, I feel I’m getting closer.

    I hope to get to know you better as well. A blogger’s retreat would be fun, heh? I wonder if it would work.

    Emma – So glad I met you too. Thanks!

    Robinella – Yup, you’re right. It is nice to be appreciated isn’t it?

    Dawn – I totally agree with you. I remember the months before my grandfather died. He was like a rebellious child to my mom. I think because she was trying so hard to take care of him, and even though he needed it, he didn’t WANT to need it.
    “It is humbling and it definitely feels great when others affirm our worth, even if we know it in ourselves.” Very true. 🙂

    And let me say, that I so appreciate and love my friends right back!

  9. Debbie says:

    Very poignant Peter. And true.

  10. Debbie says:

    Beccy – Really? Cool. 😀

  11. Heather says:

    I agree it is nice to feel appreciated every once in awhile. Especially for us stay at home moms who don’t receive any recognization for what we do day in and day out sometimes a compliment from someone else other than our kids or hubby can make a day…make a month! I know it does for me.

  12. Melanie says:

    Roll with it Debbie- I didn’t realise how stiff I was with people here (I’m living in the north of England but I’m from the South) until yesterday when I went into town with my spritely 70+ year old neighbour.

    She is the sort who lights up a room when she enters and talks to everyone. Her friendlyness rubbed off on me and I actually enjoyed it. I got to meet a collie pup 10 weeks old and talk to it’s hippy scarred faced owner (I wouldn’t’ve dared if alone usually and he was a nice guy) while she comforted the crying child.

    I think far too often we don’t look at how we are with other people and how much we can make a difference with just a few words. I know I’ve got to try harder.

    I love reading your posts- they have made me think. They have made me try hard to lose weight too and it’s working. (This is going by the trouser method rather than scarey scales- and the jeans feel looser!)

  13. Sirdar says:

    I don’t recall anyone ever saying that to me. Mind you, guys are different. At this juncture of my life I don’t feel the most confident…so I appreciate when I can help someone out and they show appreciation. I appreciate hearing that I have done a good job or they appreciate the effort that I have made. It might be from my childhood too I suspect…..never could do anything right and when I did it was never enough.

    But, I’m hapy to have you as a friend. The friend part is probably not the same as the person who said that to you, but as a friend none the less.

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