A Look Back

I found an old journal of mine in the basement last week. The last entry was seven years ago. I found it while cleaning up. Which totally explains why it took me seven years to find!

But what an odd and amazing experience it was to read some of that stuff. It was like traveling back in time. Some things were a joy to read. Such as:

March 18/00 – “(R) is learning to walk. He’s been using his little push walker for at least a month now. He really runs with that thing…it’s so cute. But for the last week or so he’s begun to take steps on his own. Most of the time he has to be prompted. “Walk to mommy!” and he does. He walks toward me with a huge smile because he knows that he’ll receive a huge hug once he gets to me. I love him so much.”

April 5/00 – I feel this little baby moving inside me. Wow is he/she ever active. More than (R) was. Sometimes I notice my whole belly move. While it is a joy to feel a life growing inside me I am looking forward to having this baby already. Sleep is difficult.”

One entry validated my choice for homeschooling. I wrote it long before I even considered it an option for us:

Mar 20/00 – “In the past few days I have felt the power of “teaching” (R) something. It fills me up. I realize the power is really within (R), and his ability and readiness to learn, but I can’t help feeling excited and proud when he displays something that I’ve just taught him.

“…My lovely (R) is so smart. He is this little being with so much potential and so many things to learn, and he is on his way. He is beginning his journey. I’m 26 yrs old and I feel like I’m just beginning mine. How ironic. (R) is teaching me! I’m just as much the student as he is and I hope I never forget that.”

That is how I feel today when I teach the children. It feels like I’m assisting them in releasing THEIR potential and it’s that feeling that spurs me on during the challenging times of homeschooling. I also still revel in the fact that I’m learning so much about myself throughout the process. How to be a better parent and person.

There are also many entries in the journal that make me sad. Words that painfully describe my frustrations as a parent and my loneliness when Adrian was working away from home. The loneliness is gone now that Adrian works close to home but those same parental frustrations remain. And, whoa, I wrote plenty about my issues with food which – hello! – I still experience. In some ways it seems like I haven’t grown at all in seven years! Will I still be writing about the same stuff in another seven years??

I really am a big mess of emotions. I feel confident and in complete control some days while others I’m insecure and unsure. Then there are days when I feel so…distant…from my own emotions.  Obviously, I wish I was that confident woman every day. I’m just not “there” yet.

“Now for something completely different…”

Yesterday I hosted an “Ancient Times” picnic at my home. My friend, Jennifer, and I had the idea for the picnic while we were attending the homeschool conference back in April. There was a speaker who encouraged us to have celebrations throughout the year. Since we were both working on “Story of the World – Ancient Times“, we thought a picnic would be a great way to wrap up the school year.

Each of the five families who attended chose a country from ancient times and then brought along a potluck food item representative of that country. They also brought crafts/activities to share. The kids had a blast.

Homeschool picnic 008

We did China. We made dragon boats and I also printed off some paper dolls to make as well.

Homeschool picnic 010-2

This was Japan. She provided an origami activity.

Homeschool picnic 012

This was the Greek table. They made a discus from a paper plate which they painted.

Homeschool picnic 009

And here at the Egyptian table they made pyramids from rice crispy squares. They even put gummies and chocolates inside!

The next volume in “Story of the World” is the middle ages. I hope to do a similar picnic next summer in that theme.

It’s times like these I so appreciate homeschooling and homeschoolers. The moms that came were awesome. We had a wonderful time.

Dawn came at the end which was nice. Her girls were able to do a couple of the crafts and then just hang out for a bit. Her son played grounders with the boys that were here.  So cool that a 15 yr old will still “play”.  And I was able to visit with their mother.

The picnic ended around 4:30 and it was just in time because it started to rain hard. We’ve had amazing storms the last couple of days. On Tuesday our power even went out for three hours. Right at supper time, too. Luckily I was barbecuing anyway and my gas stove in the house doesn’t need power. The kids immediately pulled out the board games because “that’s what we do when the power goes out” apparently! We play games all of the time anyway, but it’s extra special over candle light.


About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
This entry was posted in Homeschooling, Introspective. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to A Look Back

  1. Janet says:

    Sounds like a great picnic!!! And don’t worry, honey, we women are ALL a mass of emotions. At least, I know I am……:-)

    I recognize some of those people in the pics! 🙂

  2. robinellablog says:

    We have a group of WTMers that meet once month and one of the mothers has done something similar. We switched gears a bit this summer, but I think we will go back to SOTW next year. I really liked it.

  3. Pamela says:

    now your journal is out here for all of us to read.
    with pictures.

    I wonder what will have taken the place of blogging in 7 years

    *(love your picnic and countries)

  4. Dawn says:

    How cool to read your journal entries after all these years. I did journalling before kids and knew I needed to do it while they were young, but couldn’t get my act together, just too busy–that hasn’t changed. I wonder if I would have found time if I had a blog back then. I am with Pamela, I wonder what will the the ‘thing’ in another 7 years.

    It was a great picnic, or at least the part we were at, I can speak of. There were great activities and the girls enjoyed learning the spelling of their names in the Greek alphabet.

  5. Melanie says:

    Hia Debbie,
    what a fun day you had! Brilliant idea.

    I know what you mean about the emotional side of things. When I meet up with other craft people, I know that some of them have known one another for years and so meet up socially. Some days I struggle not to feel left out, but when I’m feeling less fragile, I can logic it out. Loneliness is hard, all you can do is keep creating experiences where you meet up with people and maybe things will follow?

  6. Terri says:

    I found an old journal from when Kenzie was little once while cleaning up to move. When I read it it really sent shivers through me to look back on it the way I wrote it down.

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