A Change of Tune

This post will definitely be a contrast from my last one because in that one I was droning on talking about how it’s so important to be nice and friendly to each other. Ohhh, how I like to have my high opinions. So…umm…do as I say write not as I do. Orrr, don’t. Whateva.

While I admire Adrian for wanting to invite everyone he knows over to our house all of the time for “weenie roasts” which end up turning into big meals, these gatherings fill me with anxiety.

For one, I have issues with my house and its ability to stand up to cleanliness scrutiny.

For another, (this is hard to admit) I don’t enjoy meeting people! There. Sigh. I’ve said it. It’s not exactly that I don’t want to meet new people. After I’ve met them, it’s great. But during the time leading up to the meeting I get all tense and nervous. And that’s just when I meet them at other locations. Combine this with my house issue and you’ve got the makings for an all out anxiety attack.

And THEN, entertaining doesn’t come naturally to me. What starts out as a simple weenie roast almost always turns into a full meal deal. Like this last time. I went out and bought the wieners and buns, etc. and when I returned home Adrian says he thought it’d be nice to roast chickens. Ahhh!

The whole thing of figuring out what to serve creates such an uneasy queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. And, apparently, when I start to convey my worries on this matter what I’m actually doing is making a big deal outta nothin’. Easy for him to say because HE doesn’t do it. Uhhh. Oops. Did I say that out loud?

When I invite my friends, it’s different. Because. Well, they’re MY friends, right? They already like me. No worries about the first impression and all that.

Now, Adrian wants to invite a bunch of people over from work for yet another “weenie roast” – which I’ll bet ya 5 bucks turns into prime rib roast or something. (the irony is that Adrian doesn’t really like hot dogs!)

The things is, I want to be that woman. You know the ones whose doors are always open and where there’s always room at the table for one more? But I’m just not her. Not at this point anyway.

It is nice that Adrian is so welcoming and all that, but I guess that’s the difference between us. I enjoy going out while he prefers to stay home. Ah well.

On another note, the sunset last night was quite beautiful. And it was raining which added to the splendour. Below are my feeble attempts to capture what I saw:

Rainy Sunset pool2

The photos are taken from my deck under an over-hang. It was the only place where I wouldn’t get wet so my vantage point was restricted.

This endeavor confirmed my desire to take some photography classes. I wanted to capture the colour of the sunset while also showing the rain.  I found my skills limited, however, to simply pushing buttons on my camera to see what would happen. It was fun, though. Thank goodness for digital cameras!

Rainy Sunset yellow Rainy Sunset orange

Rainy Sunset purple

The colours just kept changing, and it was still raining the whole time. It was exquisite.


About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
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11 Responses to A Change of Tune

  1. Joy T. says:

    It’s amazing to me when I think of a time when I had three very young children running around….and I was THAT woman. Gregg was ‘always’ inviting people over and it seemed like I was forever entertaining when he was in town. Oh sure, he ‘said’ he would help when it came time to do everything, but the cold hard facts were….his form of help was getting everyone their drinks and then sitting down and talking to everyone. Meanwhile I was stuck in the kitchen trying to get everything ready, serving everyone, trying to not seem like a snob so desperately running back and forth to talk AND get the meal on….and then cleaning up afterwards because if people offered to help Gregg would say “Oh don’t worry about it…..Joy’s got it.”. If I complained afterwards about how much work it was? A certain hubby was not happy. To say the appreciation was nil was an understatement. So. The next time he invited people over? I left before they got there. I did that a few times and it didn’t take him long to see how much work was involved and for some strange reason he stopped asking people over as much and when he did? He would run it by me first and then give me a hand.

    We do very little entertaining now but I think it’s because with the kids at the age they are we do so much with just our little family of five anymore. Technically I guess it would be considered entertaining too but everyone chips in and helps….so it doesn’t feel like it. Man I can write a long comment 🙂

  2. Jen says:

    From what I’ve heard over the years, your feelings are shared by a number of women out there. Mine included. How do we become what we so want to be? Do we really want to be that women who has her door always open? Is there a time when we can close it?? Just for a time? Not nice to comment with more questions to ponder is it?

    I love the sunset pics!!

  3. Emma says:

    You pics turned out great. I did get the orange, it was shining right into our house and was fantastic. My pic? Not so much.

    I wanted to be the entertanier growing up, but really? My house is always a mess so it’s a no go. And then we won’t even get started on William’s anxiety when we even have a small birthday party.

  4. Janet says:

    It really does look beautiful.

    I know what you mean about entertaining. I’m not sure that husbands “get” how much thought it takes!!!!

  5. Jen says:

    I agree with Emma!! My husband has anxiety too when we have a small birthday party! Seems to escape until moments before the guests arrive!

  6. Kyddryn says:

    Lovely colours!

    I am one of those women. Drat. Mostly, though, it’s pancakes or scrambled eggs or mac and cheese or spaghetti – you know, things that can easily expand to feed more or be put up for another meal.

    Ironically, I really don’t keep a tidy house or like meeting people (agoraphobic AND xenophobic, yea me!!) – but I just can’t turn someone away or let them leave hungry. Sigh.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  7. Dawn says:

    I hear you. It does take a lot of work and I think the biggest thing that would change everything is if the man actually helped and appreciated how much work it is…bwahahahhhhhhhhhhaa… Okay, seriously. It is a matter of respect. If he actually acknowledged what goes into it, and helped and showed appreciation it would make it very much easier. I must say, over the years, Sirdar has started putting the pieces together. He has seen us all bustling about, knowing what to do, working together as a family. He used to ask what I wanted him to do and in typical woman form said “NOTHING!” expecting him to know what needs to be done and do it. I learnt to give him jobs or suggestions and get him involved. It has helped and having him see everyone bustle shows how much work goes into preparation also. I don’t think it will ever change with men and women, although, I think my son will be quite aware of it as he is growing up in a house full of women and is here during the day when the planning and prep for things occurs.

    Those are great photos and I am glad you got the changing colours. I just watched all the way home, wishing I had a camera with me. Lucky, Z was out shooting photos.

  8. Melanie says:

    Love the pink and purple pic Debbie! -no surprises there then. LOL

    I so identify with you on the entertaining. I WANT things to be just so. We have a guest from North Carolina staying at the moment. She’s the 1st “stranger” guest we’ve had here and our old friends from Oxford haven’t stopped over in ages. You wouldn’t believe the amount of cleaning and tidying we did. Old friends do just “take you as you are”. Most of mine even make the coffee. LOL 🙂 But with new people you do want things to be “just so” as you don’t have a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression.

    I think what you did with the newcomers was so special and good. Especially as entertaining isn’t your forte. I’m no good at polite conversation, my cooking is termed “interesting” ?! by my family and I’m shy so I know I’m not the ideal hostess. I do however listen ok, and want things to be enjoyable for guests, so I try to play to my strengths. It is far easier on me when we meet people on “bring and share” picnics in a public place – would that be better for you too?

  9. robinellablog says:

    Pretty pictures, Debbie! I think a lot of people are like this. My mother was/is weary of meeting new people, but if one ever shows up, she always has enough to feed them. Me, on the other hand. I don’t mind meeting new people, but I don’t like cooking so that is a huge issue for me. I would rather take you out to eat than to have to make a meal for you.

  10. Pamela says:

    I always get anxiety when company comes == house dirty, cooking horrid, blah blah blah.

    Maybe that means we are good hostesses? (okay I laughed, too)

  11. Steffi says:

    Great pictures , Debbie!
    I agree with Dawn´s comment! But unfortunately not everybody have such husband like Sirdar it is.And don´t worried – you are Debbie and you are okay like you be!You take a good job!I wished I could visit you too!

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