Hail The Conquering Hero

I’d like to take a moment here to toot my own horn.  To say how wonderful I am.  To let you all know how fortunate you are to know me.  I have a skill that is life changing and could possibly even affect world peace.  Ready?  Here it is:  When it comes to choosing a movie to rent I-am-the-bomb.  As opposed to my husband.  He always brings home crap stuff about walking zombies or blood thirsty vampires.  In other words, movies that suck.  (comments about how much you like zombie or vampire movies are not allowed)

My parents took the kids out for supper and a movie last night so Adrian and I were left to our own devices.  We thought about going out ourselves but Adrian was too tired.  I get it – he works long hours.  So, I went into town, got some take-out for supper (a rare treat), and ventured into the local Blockbuster to choose the evening’s entertainment.  This is a huge responsibility, obviously.  If the movie sucks then it’s the fault of the person who chose it.  Like that person actually MADE the movie or something.  On the other hand, if the movie’s a hit than you’re a hero.  In my opinion, anyway.  Eh hem.  In our house, we have a tradition that when we pick a good movie we parade around the house singing “hail the conquering heroooo”.  Uhh.  We…I – same thing.  It’s not just me us that do that, is it?

It was particularly challenging last night because there was nothing, nada, zilch worth seeing in the New Release perimeter of the store.  “Iron Man”…seen it.  “Jumper”..seen it (a rare selection of Adrian’s that was good)  “The Love Guru”..not interested (I’m not anyway and I’m the one picking the movie here).  “88 Minutes”…seen it (bla).  “Run Fat Boy Run”…uhhh, will wait till we’re desperate – might be funny, though. 

So, at a loss, I set off to explore the rarely visited middle isles.  That’s right…the old movie section.  Movies that came out as long as (duh duh duhhhhh) SIX MONTHS ago!  Desperate times call for desperate measures, though, and I was up for the challenge.  However, after at least 15 minutes of combing up and down the isles I was close to giving up.  Beads of sweat were beginning to appear on my brow.  The prospect of eating our meal while actually having to talk to each other was was beginning to threaten the foundation of our happy home, when?  I saw them.  THE movies.  I tentatively plucked them from the shelves.  Hopeful but not completely confident in my choices I approached the counter and paid for the movies.  I was filled with trepidation during the entire drive home (not really but I’m having fun now).

At home, with our over-expensive meals laid out in front of us, I pressed play on the remote and?  Silence.   There wasn’t any jeering remarks like “THIS movie looks stupid” from the peanut gallery Adrian.  No sighs nor harumphing.  Just silence…and chewing.  It…was…a…hit.  And me?  I’m the hero for the week.  In my mind, anyway.

Now some of you may be wondering what the titles of these movies are but I fear, at this point, that I’ve built them up too much.  Perhaps, given you too high of expectations.   They are just movies after all.  But we enjoyed them and that’s the whole point, right? 

Please, note:  This post is dedicated to my husband, Adrian, who for some reason thought the whole video renting hero thing was silly and rolled his eyes when I announced it.


About Debbie

I am a stay at home mom of 2 energetic children. I homeschool them as well. I have a great husband who, after 7 years of working away from, finally has a job where he is home every night. We are trying to learn how to live together again along with adjusting to the lower pay that came along with the job change.
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8 Responses to Hail The Conquering Hero

  1. Janet says:

    I’m hailing the conquering hero for sure! 🙂

  2. Dawn says:

    You are also the conquering hero in a greatly entertaining and funny post. Love it. And at the risk of starting a coo, may I suggest you make a video of that conquering hero dance around the house; unless of course it is a precursor to some other unspeakable activities, then that would be way to much info. Of course, now that I worded it that way, if you don’t show the video, we will all assume the latter to be the case;-).

  3. robinellablog says:

    My hubby and I used to never miss new releases (at the movies) and then we had kids. NOW we are even behind in the rental department. You do have to share, you know. That’s just cruel.

  4. Joy T. says:

    You crack me up! I never have to worry about any of this because 99.9% of the time Gregg falls asleep the minute the movie starts. I swear there’s something about the click of the remote control and his brain that makes him instantly sleepy the minute a movie starts. Then because he feels guilty for falling asleep, when I ask how he likes the movie I picked, he always says “Good. Good movie you picked.”

  5. Emma says:

    Um…so what were the movies?

    Oh, and I got the 15th off!

  6. Debbie says:

    Right on, Emma!! Looking forward to seeing you all. 🙂

  7. islephilosopher says:

    One needs a “Hero” in life – and who better – than one’s self 😛

    Planning is an undertaking – of joy – the end result – is the mystique we make of it 🙂

  8. Jennifer says:

    You make me laugh! I am looking forward to finding out what the movies are, need a good film to watch.

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