The thing about me is that I think out loud. That means when I need to figure something out in my life I tend to phone a friend and talk it out. OR I get on here and write. Sometimes it’s positive stuff and other times not. I have been known to vent it out on here and then go about my day feeling better, but then…eh hem…not following up with a post letting y’all know that, no, I’m not falling off the deep end. At least not yet.
I used to blog almost daily when I first began 2 yrs? ago. I wrote about almost everything – bar my husband, Adrian. (Oh, I could dedicate an entire blog to him, but since he has no recourse I know that just ain’t fair.) My neighbour at the time (a red-knecky kinda fellow) told me he was shocked at the things I wrote. “Why would you tell everybody THAT?!” he would exclaim at me during a neighbourhood function. “I dunno, I just felt like it, I suppose. Was it too much?”, would be my response.
This blog began as a daily report of our family goings-on for folks in England, but it turned into a vehicle for cheap therapy – although I still throw in a family report now and then. 🙂 I used to have a lot more readers (back when I read more blogs myself) and there were some smart patooties among them. I confess that I sometimes wrote about a particular challenge in my life with certain people in mind..wondering what they were going to say. And I SO appreciated their feedback.
So…I’m a pretty open book. If I feel or think it, I say it (if it’s MY truth, that is – I don’t go getting all up in other people’s business). This isn’t always good, of course…I’ve gotten myself into a pickle now and then, but I prefer to be honest about who I am. Hmm. Perhaps “honest” isn’t the right word. If you’re private and keep things to yourself it certainly doesn’t mean you’re DIShonest. I just don’t have much of a filter between my brain and my mouth…or my typing hands. lol
I believe that every human goes through SOMEthing and we can learn and grow as individuals if we share with others. We go through life as separate people but, really, we are connected. When I share something that is painful or embarrassing I’m breaking down barriers between myself and those around me. It might be just for a moment, but I feel our energies merge when I see the same fears that I’m experiencing surface in someone else’s eyes. Or the same joy. I love that feeling.
So here’s my truth: I get overwhelmed. There are times that I feel completely capable to handle everything (house, husband, kids, homeschooling, my weight, exercise, friends, family). Life goes along tickety-boo. There are times, though, that folding laundry seems like a mountainous task and when faced with just one more thing – like dealing with the kids’ bickering – I choose to react like a crazy woman. And I know I’m not alone. Many folks out there feel the same as me.
That all being said, I want to live in a space of love and happiness. As much as I find venting about something (whether it be here or to a friend) helpful, I need to move on and find solutions. Living life in a pity-party is counter productive. I recognize that and am generally an upbeat and cheerful person as a result. So, no need to worry about me. 🙂